Wednesday, 7 December 2011

symphony of my life in monologues (part one - creation of malcontent)


The day passes slowly. Dragging its own heels waiting for the time to replace the pressure on ones shoulders and unwind in whichever manner one wishes to exhibit. Whether it be a casual, dull or most preferred, by myself, a refined evening where one tastes delightful soothing teas, as such of the almost medically healing properties of Earl Grey, and listens to the works of genius from a better more appropriate time. The work of Chopin's Nocturnes caressing and employing its massaging and gentle sorcery on my own heavy hard of hearing ears and a most fragile and disillusioned of all minds. Hearing the minor tones of Op9 No2 gracing my mind into an almost wonderful euphoria where my imagination will allow me to daydream and elope with the rhythm creating a foremost path in my mind. The notes and symbols used to denote and beautifully codify this great work causes me to pray silence and follow the path in a daze twirling and da, da-ing the tune of each elegant and graceful step just as an unwitting and graceless Dandelion seeds float around on a breezy summers day waiting to settle and grow into a new flower. By following this elusive haze my mind snaps unpleasantly back into the dull and monotonous reality and realising the time, one realises that it is time to retire.
By days end and nights commencing. the convergence of time and tiredness can catch anyone off guard longing for the chance to slumber. Grabbing my pearlised handled walking stick, one begins the most straining and arduous trip causing my legs to frail and wither and throb with the struggle to descend to my quarters. stopping with time to rest a while and ponder over the articles I wish to write whether being politically or romantically, I do not mind. With this in mind however, the thought of writing gives me more strength to painlessly walk and take each step more and more easily.
Yet, after endless moments of forethought, now it is time to rest and visit a world where the mind creates a view entirely of our own whim, wit and feats of impossibility that only in this creation can become possible. Feats such as soaring over many great frozen covered peaks in search of reaching and conquering the highest cloud. Feats such as delving into great oceans and reaching it's dark and solitary depths in search of what souls lay beneath the veil of darkness. The story I am about to tell is neither of those things. This dream of creation is only something the devil could possibly inspire. This will be unpleasant, dark, evil and, if one is in the appropriate frame of mind, distressing. Hark my audience do I dare tease you with such malcontent? For the relief of my own private hell, I must.
As the aggression of this aforementioned creation is one my mind has unwillingly shown and failed to control. That each dying moment that I lay awake gives me the only gift of dread as I know what awaits this night as this unrelenting power has teased, tormented and tortured my mind and tested my sanity for three consecutive years on every consecutive night. For this I shall describe the first. As my head had hit the pillow it began to throb. It frightened me. As I had instinctively curled up descending into the darkness, fear lead to anger which hate soon followed with my blood boiling and my temper wild. This frenzy began throwing me from side to side crying in a pure mixture of the epitomes of fear and hate. My bed attempted to cushion each blow with a tiresome effort yet as this frenzy carried on, the tiresome effort failed and falter like many men marching on Moscow in the dead of winter. Suddenly into the darkness gasps a heavy breath as if appearing from an underwater adventure where, in the highest of hopes, you didn't drown in the strongest of currents and in the most unforgiving and the most merciless of tides.
From this gasp I, in turn, checked my surroundings. I found myself in a small room, perhaps no bigger than the standard living room in a local apartment. The room I found myself in is dark only letting in the light from the full moon. This gave the room the most eerie of sensations which would undoubtedly send a shiver down the spine of any man. Amongst the low intensity of light and seen only the dark silhouettes of the contents it was easy to tell that this room had been disturbed. When my eyes eventually caught focus, I glimpsed over to find the Oak and formerly ornate coffee table had been overturned with broken and splintered legs and joints. What had the strength to splinter oak? The leather chairs which sat adjacent appeared frayed, torn and, what appeared to be, deliberate and violent slashes and cuts made upon it. despite the tarnished look and besmirched blasphemy on the contents of which somebody had treated this room it, however, was not my main concern. The time to which I had to ponder still became distracted as I tried to make myself aware of my surroundings. Towards the white and wonderfully designed and crafted fireplace and mantelpiece, which was intact which of course I had been taken aback. Why leave the fireplace and mantelpiece? I glanced above to find a damaged clock. The time at which it had stopped was 10:53 PM. This couldn't possibly be right? To my utter bewilderment I had to extract my trusty golden pocket watch. The golden shield upon it glistened in the moonlight which had fervently embedded my trust in my old time telling friend. The pocket watch pointed out to me that the amongst the darkness the hour and minute hand clearly shown to me the time of 10:55. The feeling of bewilderment and confusion had soon disappeared. My blood ran cold and I could scarcely imagine the look upon my face as it felt as if all the colour and temperature had gone. This new feeling was dread and fear which I could feel as clear as day. Had the time had actually been in broad daylight and display visibility beyond a few feet in front of my face then perhaps and perchance it would have steadied my nerves. Only 2 minutes had passed since the clock had stopped and this terror had began. This petrifying chill had only allowed me to ponder. Who or What could have done this? Was I alone? The next thing that had happened made me think that those questions were answered. Alas, they were not. The frame above the clock on the mantel had fallen next to my feet. Despite jumping a few feet into the air, I employed an air of child like curiosity or even more accurately adult like stupidity. I had been rather inquisitive as to what picture had fallen. Perhaps it could give me a clue as to the inhabitants of this room who had recently vacated in what I could imagine to be as panic. The picture as I turned the frame over revealed to me the wanderer above the sea of fog by Caspar David Friedrich. I peered in awe at the wonder of this piece. The detail and awe inspiring view, oh only if this picturesque scene were reality over powered me. Its fine detail allowed me to follow every brush stroke in appreciation and imagination. Before I could seemingly daze at this piece as if it were Chopin's music, a shadow moved in the corner of my eye.
I frantically turned around to be met with the sound of a genderless and dare I say it? An almost demonic growl. A matter of course of some concern. I would be foolish if I did not say I was scared. The door situated on the right of the mantel had moved further open. With this flitting shadow following it out the door. I cared very little for the pain in my lags for this was a matter of urgency. In pursuit of this shadow, fearing what it would do to others, following it passed every flight of stairs and out of the building and into a dark and soulless clearing. The mist had lifted itself from the ground subtly giving no end to its eerie fa├žade. This demon appeared more solid and more physical as it glided mysteriously through the fog. The laughter protruding from its infinite evil seemed to shrine like an obelisk echoing from the very depths of hell and projected from every one of its seven circles. its voice could not do anything except empower my curiosity. The echoes within my mind shook me as I ran when it turned. the only physical demeanour by this creature was its soulless and sinister red glowing eyes, it was as if I was staring into every sin I had ever committed, oh the infamy, it could only force me to memorise actions that I shall divulge in a later tale. the rest was a dark and foreboding void of a shell. The type of malcontent that only the Devil could give the time of day for. The shadow turned and growled away as I started to chase it again through the dark and narrow underpasses that would lead to the main town. This tunnel was very familiar as if I had passed through it on many an occasion, This was where I used to live! How busy it was in the day but this is the most deserted I have ever seen it at night. There would usually be those exiting the local Pubs at this hour but not a sign. It was too quiet for ones liking but to the dismay of this demon I gave chase. "Give chase if you dare, in the end I shall consume you" despite the demonic bellowing and the aggressive and threatening nature of such darkness I wouldn't give in. At the other side of the underpass where the walls were covered in the artwork of the local miscreants and the local authorities had been yet been willing to repair the lighting. However once I reached the other side from the silent, vacant, desolate and abandoned estate. The sight at which I was gazing made my eyes widen and bulge in absolute fear for the scene in front of me was no longer both a commercial and residential area. It was now an inferno where all the the buildings lay engulfed in an unrelenting tide of fire and a chokingly abundant volley of constant smoke where the skyline burn with a layer of orange and heat topped off with the billowing smoke above which could now block off the moon and its light. The worse was yet to come.
In a grave attempt to try and place this terrible sight behind me, I followed the demon across the Broadway until it an I came to a complete stop. I watched as it raised those shadowy hands above its head with burning properties on either side, surely this couldn't get any worse?
From the raised hands by the dark and evil veneer. The answer came to me in the most morose fashion. Green lightening soared from its fingers and into the sky with its most god awful roar which began to shake the earth beneath my feet knocking me to the floor. To be heard next was something completely opposite to the works of Chopin. That sound was the loud and amplified screaming which would cripple my body into a defensive ball hearing the screams of burning women and children. Screams that should not be uttered from the innocent lips of which they should be protected. As the screams persisted, The men appeared to be thrown out of each nearby and distant houses within my sight when they fell upon the path outside their properties, the pavement managed to knock the poor fellows into a state of disorientation and near lifelessness. The laughter from this demon appeared to only seal their fates. Every doomed and helpless man levitated into the air and their legs forced shut and clamped together. Their arms wide spread and their heads and back aligned and forced straight. This judgement day like scenario was mortifying to behold and became the point that maybe I should be engaging in prayer to make my peace with God?
As these poor men hang levitated in the air, the earth shook again revealing a shadowy cross behind each man. I only looked in horror as I grabbed the crucifix around my neck and thought "God watch over them and carry them to the light". In hope that my prayer would help. These long, dark and sharp nails lifted from the ground and simultaneously crucified each man and the screams of agony crippled me again clutching my head and attempting to fight back tears of the utmost sorrow. The agony, oh the agony as my head burned and eyes sizzle watching such a sight and feeling my very mind twist and contort with the inability to comprehend such a travesty. My ordeal was not yet over. I stood and stared at the beast. It turned and faced me. It fixed its gaze on me like a predator hunting and savouring the meal to come. It then swooped at me as the scene went Black.
A gasp!
The searing pain in my hands and head!
The screams that came from my mouth!
I opened my eyes to find such beauty, The light of the day blessing my skin and the smell of smoke, gone!
My lungs now fill the fresh air that relieves my fear and dread.
It was over.
However something didn't quite feel right? I looked around to find everything normal and in place. Nothing had been disturbed. A shadow in the corner of my eye.
The demons voice growling out.
"Can you hear me?".

1 comment:

  1. mate, the demon will be defeated and the nightmare will be soon over!

    ReplyDelete